My FUPA, My FUPA: Fat of the Upper Pubic Area – Part 1

Us-ie: Me & Odessa, my FUPA

At 25 years young, I don’t remember the time before my FUPA. It has always been a part of me. Hanging out. Literally. What is a FUPA? It’s an acronym for the Fat of/above the Upper Pubic/Pu**y Area. AKA the Apron. AKA the Muffin Top. AKA Eyesore. I’ve lost 72 lbs to date and still it lingers. What has me so frustrated is that I had the audacity to hope. Hope that with continued weight loss that it would vanish. Nah bruh. Odessa is here for now.

Yes, she has a name. Why the hell not? I figured if you’re going be with me throughout this journey, you need a name. She started off a biggun, even getting to a point where she had reached my upper thighs. At the time, I had to invest in a lot of “fitted sheet shirts.” You know the one’s with the scrunchy on the bottom, then they frill out. And my panties had to fit over her, because nothing was more embarrassing than Odessa spilling out the sides of my draws like a busted can of biscuits.

We’ve come a long way though. We’ve endured some tough, mildewy times together. Oh don’t act like you don’t sweat in ungodly places ya’ll! I do thank my FUPA for one thing though. She is my measurement for success. I can always tell how well I’m doing with my weight loss journey by how low she’s hanging. And these days, I’m happy to report I can see daylight!

What body part do you have a love/hate relationship with?

GodDOMS! Why Am I So Sore?!

DOMS, DOMS, DOMS! Good ole delayed onset of muscle soreness. I remember it like it was yesterday…wait, it was. The day before was leg day. Oh leg day. 45 minutes of leg presses, squats, and calf raises. I made some gains, really put it down in the gym. I never expected what I’m going through now. My legs feel like they’ve been filled with cement and walking up the stairs feels like a never-ending StairMaster.

When I assume something has gone terribly with my body, I Google it. I came across a Wikipedia article that explained it all. Yeah, I know you’re professor probably told you that Wikipedia isn’t a credible source. I call BS on that. I’ve been using it for years and 10 times out of 10, the facts have held true. Anywho, Wikipedia describes DOMS as:

“the pain and stiffness felt in muscles several hours to days after unaccustomed or strenuous exercise. After such exercise, the muscle adapts rapidly to prevent muscle damage, and thereby soreness, if the exercise is repeated.”

There are ways to treat DOMS and some of them include:

      MassageHot baths/sauna visit
      Immersion in cool or icy water
      Exercise

Yeah, I thought the exercise one was counter-intuitive myself but I guess that’s what the doctor meant by work through it. Check out the full wiki page by clicking here.

Gym Ettiquette for Newbies, Gymrats & Baby Schwarzeneggers

 

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Recently, I’ve changed my fitness goals and have started a weight routine. I’m following Jamie Eason’s Live Fit Trainer featured on bodybuilding.com. I’m planning to do a review of this program when I’m done in a few weeks.

Anyhow, I’ve been spending a lot more time in the weight room as a result of this new program. Because I’m spending more time with weights, I’m starting to see a whole lot of mess that you don’t see over at the cardio equipment or in classes. I wanted to point out a few things that if you happen to do them…PLEASE READ.

1. Be kind and unrack the weights – I’ve lost some muscle and I can’t do what I used to be able to do. I’m pretty much starting over. Because of this, I can’t bench press really heavy yet. I hate to go to the bench press and see three 45s on each side. I have to unload, then load with what I can do, all the while losing time making these gains. Unrack the weights sir. It’s welcomed by us weaklings.

2. Equipment hogging – I had a hissy fit the other morning watching a group of guys hog equipment. This has now become my official pet peeve for life. I don’t care if it does help you transition better from exercise to exercise. If you see that all of the squat racks are taken and several bench presses available, don’t be the jerk who moves a bench to the squat rack! I just want to do my 30 squats and get outta there.

3. Wipe me down – Eww, ewww, UGH! I hate sweat and in the gym, I realize it’s a necessary evil. For that very reason, the gym god’s (or some very thoughtful people) have paper towels and cleaning solution in convenient locations around the gym. There’s nothing worse than attempting to workout on a machine that’s wet with sweat and smells like hotdog water. When you’re walking away from a machine before wiping it, just think of that old Lil Webbie song…WIPE ME DOWN.

4. Mirror, mirror – Ok so I’m a little vain. I admit that I need to stop looking at myself so much. But I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished and whatnot. With that said, I love that they have mirrors in the gym. Now they are not only for vanity purposes. I assume they are there so you could monitor your form and see your progress, resulting into more gym visits. One day while I was doing biceps, a young woman came over near the weight rack I was using, grabbed her weights, and stood directly behind me in my mirror space. I was so uncomfortable and homegirl was ripped so it made me feel self conscience. Find a mirror that isn’t occupied people!

Ok I am done with my rant. I just felt it was necessary to discuss these things because they’ve never been an issue until I started to use the weights more frequently. Do you have any workarounds or are these just things I’ll have to cope with?

2015: New Year, Renewed Focus

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Every New Year’s we make promises. These promises, also known as resolutions, form because there is something that we all covet that we don’t have. Some of the more popular promises are:

  1. Lose weight/Exercise more
  2. Save more money
  3. Be more optimistic
  4. Be a better lover, parent, friend etc.

I made a few promises to myself for 2015. I woke up New Year’s Day with a spirit of determination that I had lost in 2014. I only lost 15 lbs. last year, and while something is better than nothing, I should have done better. This year makes three years that I’ve been on this journey. What was it about 2014 that made weight loss so difficult for me? There was a LOT going on. I had no idea where I was going career wise for one. I had a few personal set backs late last year that had my mind messed up.

Ok, I’m just gone be real about it. I ate, and ate, and ate my feelings all year. Feeling sad? Chocolate. Happy? Fried seafood platter. Angry? Cherry cheesecake. I ate like “what’s diabetes?” Looking back on it, I should be 180lbs. right now had I had the type of focus that I do now. I let too many trivial things affect my pursuit of fitness. I won’t dwell on what could be. All I can change is what I do now. I’ll be entering the second half of my 20’s in March. 26 years old. Wow.

So on Jan. 1, 2015 I made three promises to myself. 1. Professional growth. 2. Spiritual cleansing. 3. Personal wellness.Those are my promises and I’m sticking to them. What have you promised yourself in 2015?

Public Enemy #1: The Holidays

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Beach bodies are made during winter!

I love working out. It helps improve my mood and being a gym regular has given me an opportunity to meet folks and become friends with like-minded individuals.It’s Dec. 29, and lately, going to the gym on a consistent basis has been trying. Hell, I’m not gonna lie, since Dec. 10, I’ve only made it to the gym twice.

I ask myself why have my workouts been so sporadic? I blame Senor Holidays. Yes you, Mr. Holiday. You have ruined my motivation, stripped away my focus and with gym hours changing to accommodate you. All of these sweets, treats and good eats aren’t helping either. Why do you torment me so with your awesomeness?

I find it the hardest to be strong during this time of year but that beach body waits for no one. Isn’t that what people say after all: beach bodies are made in the winter. I’m challenging myself to get back on track and find a workaround for these crazy times and continue on my track to being happier and healthier.

My Inner Skinny Girl – 5 Things I Probably Shouldn’t Do

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I’ve hit a point in my weight loss where I’m not what you would call fat, but I’m not skinny either. I’m pretty average wearing a size 12/14. I aspire to be an 8/10 and I’m sprinting towards the light. I recently wrote a post about my inner fat girl and five things I should cease doing. Now I will flip that coin and give you my inner skinny girl’s bad habits.

1. Judge people’s grocery carts - This is how it unfolds: I’m walking along in your local Shop-N-Save and I see a mother with her two children. I notice that 75% of her cart are frozen T.V. dinners, 10% are soft drinks or juice, 10% meats of some sort, and the final 5% are fruits and veggies. I want to scream at her. What are you feeding your children and why?! You realize they are not ADHD but jacked up on sugar right?! This is why I have diabetes woman, don’t allow this to happen to your kids! Instead, I grab my cart and walk by hella fast to avoid confrontation. What I should do going forward is stay in my lane with my items, eyes towards self checkout.

2. Assume obesity is a choice – For me, overeating, inactivity and not caring is what caused me to balloon into Mrs. Klump. I just looked in the mirror one day and I was almost 300 lbs. Because this was my journey, I assume everyone who’s big is big for similar reasons. Though that’s probably true for 80% of the population, there are some who are big for health or genetic reasons. Withhold judgement until you know the facts.

3. Preach the skinny gospel – Now that I’ve changed my lifestyle, I want to spread the word about how awesome it is to be average and buy clothes on the junior’s side of the store. I feel like an evangelist sometimes: Don’t let that food keep you from salvation! Join me and we will shake, shake, shake that fatness off! Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels! I can see the eyerolls now. Nobody likes a preacher and like my mother told me, just because you saw the light, you can’t convert people who aren’t ready to hear that message.

4. Make weight loss sound easy – Sometimes, I forget how hard it is. I’m reminded when I hit my own plateau and/or I’m struggling with a new workout or I just can’t seem to get my food right. When people ask me what they should be doing to lose weight, I seem to start my answer with a “Well, all you have to do…” or “Just stop doing xyz…” It’s. Not. That. Easy. You think I know that by now but it’s easy to forget when you can see the mountaintop.

5. Post excessive progress pics – Ok, ok. I’m sure you’re tired of seeing how awesome I look now compared to the hot mess I was before. Ok, I’ll chill on posting pics of my new outfits. I’m just so excited and proud of myself and I want to share. But there’s a difference between sharing and bragging. I realize that I skirt that line at times so I’ve made a conscience effort not to be so damn braggadocios.

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7 “Homegirl” Rules Everyone Should Practice

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Friends are fickle in 2014 going on 2015. In my 25 years of life, I had people come and go, linger longer than they should or leave before we can establish a bond. But that’s life for you. Some folks are only around for a season/reason/lesson.

With that being said, there are unwritten rules for true blue friendships that should not be broken. These things have come up in my friendships and in come cases, the reason why I have so few true friends in my life. I call these The Homegirl Rules:

  1. We come together, we leave together – Whether we’re going to the club, dinner, or Junebug’s house, if you rode with me, you’re leaving with me. I had a few friends in the past pull that “I’m riding with so and so, I’ll meet you there” stunt. No ma’am. Though we are grown and you’re responsible for your own actions, you will not be leaving with some random dude you were just grinding on. Now after you get back home, hit him up at your own risk but not on my watch!
  2. DON’T date my ex/fling – You would think that this would be an obvious no-no, but friendships end over breaking rule #2 everyday. No you may not date someone I was dating and or have a fling with even if I give you my blessing. Odds are, that blessing is really a curse wanting your shot to fail miserably. Don’t even ask if you could date someone from my past. That’s just weird and honestly molded leftovers. Ewww.
  3. Date my family members at your own risk – Hanging with your friends so much means they will meet your family. There may be members of your family that your friends are attracted to and may want to hook up with. I’m not saying you can’t date my family members but you do so at your own risk. I can’t help you with relationship advice nor can we talk about any sexual encounters. Besides, if the relationship goes sour, there’s a strong possibility it could effect our friendship.
  4. I’m buying lunch, so follow my lead – Don’t order something that costs more than my order friend! That’s just not good out to eat etiquette. Some may say don’t offer to pay if you’re setting limits. Come on man, there is a right way to do things though. If I order a $8 sammich, you shouldn’t be ordering a $20 steak. That’s just rude.
  5. If you help me out, don’t keep a ledger – When I was younger, I had a friend who was an only child so safe to say she was spoiled and got pretty much whatever she wanted. There were three of us and since I was the biggest and had the longest feet, I was usually the odd man out when it came to sharing clothes. The third friend borrowed her new Allen Iverson’s to wear to the mall one day. As we were walking, a cute guy commented on them and the spoiled friend interjected saying, “Those are actually my shoes.” The audacity! Even at 13 or 14 years old, I thought that was a shitty way to go about things. You should help me out from the kindness of your heart. Don’t keep a ledger or list of all the things you’ve done for me then bring it back up in my face.
  6. Don’t swagger jack – What is swagger jacking you may ask? Swagger jacking is when someone copies or imitates your style. Ever see the little teeny boppers at the movies looking like clones? Well, they probably all agreed to dress alike but for the sake of my argument, swagger jacking is different. If I show you my new outfit that I plan to wear to the show tomorrow, don’t show up in something similar. If there’s a phrase I always say, don’t steal it. If I buy a bomb ass hair piece, you better not show up with the same style in a different color. Have your own identity.
  7. Keep it 100 – This should probably be #1 but this one is the reason why I don’t have many friends. Honesty is key when dealing with people. I try to be as honest and transparent as I can be because in the past when I haven’t been honest, things unravel quickly.. Tell me the truth even when it hurts. That’s what friends are for.
My New Year’s resolution is to be a better person, lover, daughter, sister and friend. I hope that I’m fortunate to meet cool dynamic people I can keep in my life for as long as they want to be. If you’re interested in being my friend, follow the Homegirl Rules, and we should be alright.